Peaches and the farmer

I was driving home from work when out of the blue a favorite old joke
popped into my head. “Hmm, that might make a good story,” I thought.
I’ll leave it up to you to decide whether it did or not.


Marcus Jones had been a farmer all his life. His dad farmed the land
before him and his father’s father before that, etc. The Jones’s had
through cautious investment and backbreaking labor managed to
accumulate 600 acres of prime cropland and orchards. The farm had
provided a decent living for the Jones’s over the years and they had
managed to avoid the financial troubles that claimed the farms of some
of their friends and neighbors.

Last year Marcus had planted winter wheat on 150 acres of the farm.
Spring brought with it heavy rains that made him late in getting his
soybeans planted. The spring was so wet that his wheat was blighted.
He only got about a third of the yield he expected on it. Crop
insurance helped but it didn’t cover the costs of the seeds and
fertilizer he had used on the crop.

Summer arrived. He was encouraged. His beans were doing nicely and
it appeared that he was going to have a bumper crop of peaches in his
orchard. Unfortunately the moist spring had also resulted in a bumper
crop of locusts. They devastated his beans. In fact it was so bad
that it wasn’t even worth the effort to harvest them and he had to
plow what remained of his beans under.

The loss of two of his cash crops hit Marcus hard. He would survive,
but it would be tight. By late summer his peaches were maturing.
Without a doubt this was the best peach crop he had ever had on the
farm. They were full and plump, as sweet as sugar and full of juice.
Marcus sold three quarters of his peaches to his fruit co-operative
and kept the other quarter to sell on his own. He figured that if he
went door to door he could sell all that he had left and make a better
profit than if he had sold it to the co-op. Every day Marcus loaded
up his pickup with peaches and drove to various small towns around his
farm to sell his peaches. He was doing very well, making about twice
what he would have gotten from the co-op.

It didn’t hurt that Marcus was a very attractive man and that ladies
answered most of the doors he knocked on. Marcus would flirt with the
women as he sold them his fruit and more than one lady bought his
peaches just to keep him flirting with them a little while longer.

Today Marcus had loaded up his truck and driven over to Middleton. It
was a medium sized city and Marcus was plying his wares from door to
door in one of its more affluent neighborhoods. Marcus walked up to
the front door of a very large house and rang the bell.


Stacy Brown was the wife of the most prosperous lawyer in Middleton.
Actually she was his second wife. Wife number one having been
divorced so that Arthur could marry Stacy. She was the classic
definition of a trophy wife having wrested Arthur away from his wife
via her sexual skills. The only other talent Stacy possessed was
spending money and poor Arthur was forced to work longer and harder
than he ever had to provide that money. Consequently Arthur had less
and less time to enjoy Stacy’s other skill.

Truth be told, Stacy was a bit of a nymphomaniac. Arthur couldn’t
provide her with the tool she needed to scratch that itch when he was
working all the time. There were other tools she could use however
and she was using one of those tools right now.

“Oh god yes!” Stacy moaned as she rubbed her thrumming vibrator over
her clit. “Mmmm, it feels so good.” She could feel her orgasm slowly
building inside her. She slid the vibrator down and into her dripping
snatch, pumping it in and out of herself slowly, savoring the
sensations. Her right hand slid inside the top of her white baby doll
nightie to cup her full generous breast and tweak her nipple. Her
back arched as she took herself to a new level. Her breath coming in
pants as her arousal climbed higher and higher. Her passion-clouded
mind vaguely registered the ringing of the front door bell. “God damn
it all to hell!” she exclaimed. ” I was almost there.” “Still,” she
thought, “it might be that luscious UPS driver.” She went over to the
window and parted the drapes. It wasn’t the driver. “Oh my God would
you look at that,” she moaned softly. She dropped the drapes, ran to
the mirror to check her appearance, and then ran down the steps to
answer the door.


“Damn, nobody home,” Marcus said as he turned and started down the
steps of the porch.

“Can I help you sir?” a soft feminine voice called out.

Marcus turned around and his heart stopped. His eyes drank in the
vision in front of him. Long, curly honey-blonde hair framed the face
of an angel. Crystal blue eyes stared back at him. Her lips were
full and ripe. Her breasts were large, but not overly so. Her
nipples were visible through the fabric of her nightie. Her hips
flared nicely. She had long shapely legs, the hem of her nightie just
long enough to conceal her other treasures. Marcus knew that his
heart had restarted, the rush of blood to his cock not being possible

“Oh my God he’s hung like a horse!” Stacy thought as she eyed the
rapidly expanding lump in his jeans. Her tongue traced over her lips
in her excitement.

“Y-y-yes mam, you can,” Marcus stammered. It was only through sheer
willpower that he was able to force his legs to work and walk back to
the front door. “Mam, I’m selling my peaches door to door and I was
wondering if you would be interested in purchasing some of them.”
Marcus held out a prime example of his luscious peaches.

Stacy eyed the peach, a feral smile coming to her face. She cupped
her breasts. “Are they nice and firm like these?” she asked.

Marcus’s eyes bugged out of his head as the lady squeezed her breasts.
His cock strained mightily against the fabric of his jeans. “Y-y-yes
mam, they are,” he stammered. “God what I would give to get my hands
on those,” he thought.

Stacy smiled sweetly. She slowly raised the hem of her nightie,
exposing her pussy to Marcus’s feasting eyes. Her fingers brushed
lightly over her mound. “Do they have nice soft fur like this?” she

Marcus groaned as his cock twitched in his pants. “She’s a natural
blonde,” he thought. “Y-y-y-y-es mam, th-th-they do,” he managed to
stutter out.

Stacy nodded her head and licked her lips seductively. Her hand slid
downward slowly. She slid two fingers inside her creaming cunt. She
slid them in and out slowly, biting her lip to keep from moaning. She
slid her fingers out of her cunt and held them up for Marcus to see.
“Are they nice and juicy like this?”

Marcus’s nostrils flared. He smelled her arousal on the fingers held
in front of him. He strained to keep from creaming his jeans then and
there. “Yesss they are,” he hissed.

“Let me see,” Stacy said as she plucked the peach from his hand. She
bit lightly into the peach, the juice squirting out of the corners of
her mouth, dribbling down her chin to drop on the exposed flesh of her
breasts. The juice slid slowly, ever so slowly down the swells into
the valley between her breasts. “Mmmm,” she moaned into the fruit, as
she tasted its sweetness. Her soft pink tongue snaked out to capture
some juice at the corner of her mouth.

Marcus stood there in awe. His body trembling as a large wet spot
appeared on the front of his jeans.

Stacy’s eyes clouded with desire as she stepped forward, her hand cupp
ed his crotch. Her other hand wrapped around Marcus’s neck, pulling
his lips to hers. Her tongue darted into his mouth. Marcus could
taste the peach as her tongue traced his teeth, wrestled with his own.

Stacy broke the kiss, gasped for air. She tugged at him. “I’m so
sorry,” she said her voice dripping with honey. “Let me help you
clean that up.” She tugged Marcus inside and closed the door, then
guided him to in front of the couch. She dropped to her knees in
front of him, kissing the wet spot. Her nimble fingers unfastened his
jeans. She yanked the zipper down then pulled his jeans and underwear
to his ankles. “Oh god,” she moaned. Even semi-erect his cock was
huge. Her tongue lapped at Marcus’s cock, cleaning him with short
swipes, the way a cat cleans it’s fur. His cock jumped when Stacy’s
tongue made contact. Blood rushing back into it. Her tongue swarmed
around him, licking up and down the shaft, cleaning the residue of his
recent orgasm. She sucked his balls into her mouth, rolling and
massaging each one with her tongue. His cock was hard now and Stacy
sucked the tip into her mouth. Slowly she slid forward, taking him
deeper and deeper inside her mouth. Her tongue fluttered over and
around the head.

Marcus wallowed in the sensations as Stacy started to bob her head
back and forth more rapidly. His hands fisted in her hair. She
stopped moving, just the tip of him was in her mouth, and then slowly
she slid forward. He felt the end of his cock hit the back of her
throat, then Stacy swallowed and his cock slid easily down her throat,
her nose resting against his pubic hair. She pumped back and forth a
couple of times with short quick strokes then slowly slid back up the
length of his pole. She slid him out of her mouth and smiled up at
him, her hand slowly stroking him. “Did you like that?” Marcus could
only nod. She tugged him harder. “I want you to fuck me with this
now!” she demanded.

“OK,” he croaked.

Stacy lay down on the sofa and pulled her nightie up to her waist.
She reached inside the top and pulled her breasts out. Marcus
shuffled over, his pants around his ankles and climbed on the sofa
between her legs. Stacy grabbed his prick and pulled it to her hole.
She wrapped her legs around his butt as Marcus plunged forward inside

Stacy’s back arched as she screamed. Marcus pounded his cock in and
out of her, fucking her with abandon. Stacy screamed again as her
second orgasm coursed through her. Her cunt convulsed tightly around
Marcus’s cock, milking him but still he pounded her hole. Stacy’s
fingers were mauling her nipples, twisting and pinching them. Her
breath came in ragged short pants as that huge cock reamed in and out
of her. Her face froze into a tight rictus of pain and pleasure as
her third orgasm consumed her. Still Marcus sawed back and forth
inside her as she convulsed.

“’,” she grunted out in time with his thrusts.

Marcus sped up pounding into her with a fury. Stacy’s head flung from
side to side as she writhed under him. He could fill his balls
tightening as his orgasm approached. He buried himself deep inside
her, ground against her, as his cock erupted and his balls emptied.
Stacy shook and convulsed around him, her fourth and final orgasm
ripped through her body. Her back was tightly arched, her stomach
muscles quivering in both joy and agony. She collapsed back into the
sofa exhausted. Marcus collapsed on top of her his head cushioned by
the soft pillows of her breasts. They lay there panting, satiated.

Stacy had never been fucked like that in her life. She laughed in
joy. “Just how many bushels of those peaches do you have left?” she

“I’ve got five on the truck,” Marcus replied.

“And how much are you charging for a bushel?”

“Five dollars.”

“I’ll make you a deal. If you deliver a bushel of peaches each and
every week to me I’ll pay you a hundred dollars a bushel. Of course
at that price I do expect special service,” Stacy said with a grin.

Marcus pushed himself back up and gazed down at the beauty still
impaled on his semi-erect cock. Her cunt still quivered slightly
around him.

“Deal,” Marcus said with a smile.


The joke? After all that you want to know the joke? Well if I must.

A farmer was going door to door selling peaches. He knocked on the
door and a woman opened it wearing only a negligee. The farmer
stammered out a greeting then told the lady he was selling peaches.
She cupped her breasts and squeezed them softly. “Are they nice and
firm like this?” she asked. “Yes mam, they are,” answered the farmer.
The lady pulled her negligee up, exposing the soft down of her pussy.
“Are the soft and furry like this?” she asked as she stroked her fur.
“Y-y-y-es mam they are,” stammered the farmer. She slid a finger
inside herself and worked it back and forth. “Are they nice and juicy
like this?” she asked as she pulled her finger out and showed it to
the farmer. At this the farmer started to cry. “Mr. Farmer, Mr.
Farmer why are you crying?” asked the lady. “Well mam its like this,”
explained the farmer. Blight destroyed my wheat crop, the locusts ate
all my beans and now it looks like I’m going to get fucked out of my