Tale of a big threesome 2.

“I could live with both of you,” she said. “I would. I even
suggested it to Becky.”

Then she came forward and loomed over me. “I told you, I go both
ways. And I do love you, sweetheart. I really do. Not the man in
you, really, especially, but the you in you! I’d rather not leave
you. I’d love to take you with me to live with Becky. Or stay
here with you and Becky.”

I looked up at her hopefully, and started to say something. That
was what I wanted, if it was the best I could get for now! But her
next words killed off that hope.

“But Joey, honey, Beckie isn’t attracted to you. She never will
be. She doesn’t want to live with you. You’re a nice man, she
knows that, but you’re a man.”

I waited. She let the other shoe fall.

“Sweetheart, Beckie’s now a confirmed lesbian. No more nor less.
That’s really why her marriage to Tim hasn’t worked. He kept
trying to turn her, and she was willing to let him try. But he’s
such an insensitive boor! He couldn’t imagine why any woman would
ever prefer another woman to him! Talk about a square peg in her
round hole? Becky tried to turn him, too, at least to make him a
little more considerate of her feelings. No way. She finished her
honeymoon absolutely persuaded beyond any doubt that she would
never sleep with any man ever again! Not any other man was what
Tim thought she was saying, but she meant any man at all!”

“After that honeymoon they hardly ever touched each other. Tim has
tomcatted around with all sorts of women in all sorts of ways, I
know, so he didn’t make an issue of it. He couldn’t admit defeat.
Not until their last visit here.”

Ellie took a deep breath. Then, “Tim accidentally came on the two
of us together in bed, late one night. We weren’t asleep. He says
he stayed by the door and watched us for a while, and we were so
wrapped up in each other we never noticed! God, I remember we were
hot that night! I don’t remember that we ever slept at all, though
we must have! Becky’s soft, smooth skin rubbing on mine, her
pillowy breasts, our arms and legs twined all around, our mouths
fused, sucking and sweet, our juices flowing all over each other,
our bodies pulsing in one huge heartbeat! God, it was wonderful!”

That memory transported Ellie into a rapturous silence. I felt
excluded but strangely stirred, I had no idea why. But I sat stone
still, and after a moment Ellie resumed.

“Tim told her the next day that he’d seen us, that he was
disgusted, that their marriage was over! It would be by now, too,
but they still can’t agree on the terms of separation — their
negotiations are endless. They take perverse pleasure wrangling
and haggling with each other. When Tim heard about her job offer
here he said ‘Go to her!’ and then raised some further impossible
demands. I cried when I found out what they were, and Becky was
crying when she told me. We had to talk a long time before she
calmed down.”

I looked sorrowfully sympathetic and nodded, but at that moment
Rebecca’s problems weren’t mine at all. My mind was preoccupied!

“Now he’s turned really spiteful. He’s tried to strip her of
everything! Even little things I’ve given her over the years! And
he’s not stopping at blackmail. He’s threatening to expose both of
us.”

Her face turned grim. “Well, that would bring you into it as her
lesbian lover’s duped husband, cuckolded by a queer, so we’ve had
to talk a long time about sparing you that kind of embarrassment.
Becky’s playing some wild cards of her own too, but at the moment
it appears Tim will get pretty nearly everything! Except what
matters most to Becky. Me!”

“I never knew,” I said. That sounded pretty lame, but I had to say
something.

Elllie didn’t seem to hear. “Becky says that now she won’t share
me with any man, not any longer. Once she had to, because I had to
know what it was like, being married. But not now. Not even with
you, and she sort of likes you in her peculiar way. She says
she’ll allow me one-nighters now and then if I must wrap my legs
around some stud, feel a cock stuffed deep into me. But not with
you. With different men each time, no emotional involvements,
that’s as far as she’ll let me go. Well, I can live with that.
I’ve done it before.”

She waited to see what I’d say. Then considered whether to say
something more. Then, as if to explain, she went on.

“We’ve done threesomes, honey, if that’s what you’re thinking. We
enjoy being three in a bed. In New Orleans just a few months ago,
you remember when Becky had her annual convention in New Orleans
and I had mine? A friend of Becky’s was with us the whole time.
God, it was sublime!”

“But the friend was a girl sweetheart! All of Becky’s other lovers
are girls. It drives Tim crazy to know that! And even those girls
have to be married with kids, so they won’t get ideas about moving
in on us permanently. Or else they have to be free spirits who
don’t want to get ideas about anyone. Becky doesn’t like rivals.”

She stared at me meaningfully, then looked down at her drink. Then
stood again and refilled her glass, and took a quick swallow
without even waiting for the ice to cool it down. And added, once
again with her back toward me, “You don’t qualify for that kind of
threesome, hon. I’m sorry.” And she started back toward the
kitchen.

I could feel it. This discussion was over as far as Ellie was
concerned. She was in motion. Out of the room, out of my life.
It was now or never! I reached to grasp at a straw! At anything!
Out of nowhere came a desperate cry!

“But what if I did?”

She paused and began to turn back toward me. “Did what?” she
asked. Her voice was casual. She’d said everything that could be
said.

“Qualify! For a threesome!”

She turned the rest of the way and just stared at me, really
pitying me now. I’d understood nothing apparently. I could read
it in her eyes, and I raced on!

“No, I don’t mean as a man! What if I tried to be a girl when I
was with you two? Just tried! What if I was gentle, and kept my
penis out of the way? And wore that lacy nightgown you once wanted
me to wear? And used my mouth, anywhere you want it! Could you
take me in then? To make up a threesome?”

A new argument suddenly occurred to me. I added, “Then you
wouldn’t have to leave here at all! We all three of us could live
here together!”

I was playing for time! I needed time, more than anything else!
What I was really willing to do, what I had to do, what I’d have to
give up, what little deceptions might work, all those things I’d
reconsider later! Decide about later, if I had to. I knew that as
things were, once Ellie walked through that door and back into the
kitchen, and once Rebecca walked through that front door, my
marriage was over. Down the drain. I had to stop the flow!
Somehow! To pretend I could be a girl with them was all that came
to mind!

And now Ellie was looking at me with keen attention! “You really
mean that?”

“Yes!” I’d thrown out my hook wildly, but I’d caught something!
Now I had to set it past the barb so it wouldn’t shake loose! The
words came tumbling out unconsidered. “I want to be a girl!”

She just stood there, staring at me.

“Make me a girl!” I said, more emphatically still.

“What?!”

“Make me a girl! I’m willing! I’ll be a girl for you! I want to!
Ellie, please, I don’t want to lose you!” I was appalled by what
I was saying! But it was a cry from the heart! At that moment I
believed in my sincerity absolutely!

“You’re crazy!”

“I want you! I want you to love me! I want to live with you. No
claims! If you can share me with Rebecca, and Rebecca will have me
only if I’m a girl, then I want to be a girl! Make me a girl!
Then Rebecca can have all of you and as much of me as she wants!
And I can still have some of you! If Rebecca lets me!” Was I
insane? No, not at all. But certainly anguished. And this was
certainly the only idea I had, for now.

“You don’t know what you’re saying!”

“Yes, I do! Make me a girl!”

Ellie started back into the room and sat down on a chair by the
door. I couldn’t believe it! It was happening!

She shook her head, thoughtfully! “If we were a threesome, even if
we lived here you’d be a third party, a guest as it were. In your
own house! You’d have to move into our guest room, Joey. Could
you stand that?”

“Yes!”

“A girl? I know it can be done. With hormones and things. Becky
knows how, she’s had patients who wanted to be girls. But you’d
have so much to learn! You’d have to do so many things you’d
certainly find unfamiliar, even embarrassing! You’d have to give
up so much! You’re not a girl! Not even a transvestite!”

“Yes! I am! I can be!” What things? In the privacy of my
relationships with them, I could handle it! In bed with them?
Here in this house? How difficult could it be to wear a dress or
a nightgown around the house now and then while I tried to woo and
win back my own wife? No problem!

She paused. “That’s quite a notion! For my Joey to try to become
a girl! It’s sort of romantic, I must say!” She looked at me
admiringly, now. “I sort of like it! Greater love hath no man
than to give up being a man for the woman he loves! I’ll certainly
ask Becky how she feels about it when she gets here. She’s about
due!”

Then Ellie turned and went back into the kitchen.

I sat there a moment. What have I done? I’ve saved my ass, that’s
what I’ve done, I told myself! I’ve lived to fight another day!
I stood up, triumphant!

“Yessssss!!!” I whispered aloud!

All was not lost!

And at that moment, the door chimes sounded.

ii.

Two days later I answered the door when the chimes sounded, and
Rebecca swept past me, not condescending even to glance at me. “I
see you’re still here? You like what we’re doing to you? Where’s
your pride, girl? Is Miss Elaine home yet?”

She didn’t stay for an answer, but instead looked around for
evidence. No one in the hallway or up the stairs. She turned
toward me finally. “It’s arranged. You’re going away tomorrow
morning with Ellie. To Miss Caroline’s, she has an opening and can
fit you in right away. You’ll be there for three weeks. No need
to pack anything. Ellie will take you there and leave you there.
She’ll be there herself often as part of the treatment, but
otherwise she’ll be working or else here with me. You’d better
cooperate!”

I curtsied. “Yes, ma’am!”

“Not that it matters a whole lot! Miss Caroline has no problem
getting people like you to cooperate. Then when you get back your
boss tells me you’ll soon be off doing those out-of-town site
visits he’s arranged. So Ellie and I will be rid of you either
way. Become the best girl you can be, and maybe we’ll let you live
with us. Any erections today?”

“No ma’am.”

“That’s good! I thought those injections would take care of that
little problem. Nip it in the bud.” She smiled. “That’s
apparently what you’re good at, I hear!”

“Ma’am?”

“Nipping buds! Clit nibbling! Miss Elaine told me this morning
that last night you were quite satisfactory! I may want to wrap my
legs around your head myself some time. Miss Elaine thinks you may
have real talent that way! But don’t let it give you any ideas!”

“No ma’am.”

“I’ll have my white wine, now.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I hurried to get it, pleased that Miss Rebecca was
pleased, or at least not dissatisfied. I glanced at a mirror on my
way back into the kitchen. My appearance was acceptable. Maybe
that helped.

Two days earlier she’d been a lot less pleased, in fact she’d been
downright antagonistic. When the doorbell rang, and Ellie turned
to answer it, I waited in the living room to see if Rebecca would
buy my hastily improvised notion, still holding my empty glass in
my hand, the ice cubes now altogether melted. The whole trip down
the hall to the front door, Ellie kept her head turned back toward
me, watching to see if I was still serious, or if I was having
second thoughts, or if I was already quailing at my own
preposterous suggestion. Perhaps from sheer stubbornness, I
wasn’t. Just before opening the door she asked me again, “You’re
sure now! A girl!”

“Yes!” I said, loud and clear.

The two of them then stood by the front door talking in low voices
for some time. I was delighted that I’d at least shaken them up

Then Rebecca came into the living room. I stood to meet her, and
offered her my hand, a meaningless smile of hospitality fixed on my
face. She just stood there in the middle of the room and looked at
me. I put my hand down. Her expression approached a scowl.

“Well, Joseph, look what you’ve proposed,” she said finally. “And
Ellie likes the idea. So we have to deal with it seriously. Even
though I don’t believe for a moment that you’re serious.”

“Now Rebecca!” I tried to reassure her even though I myself still
found the idea unsettling, absurd.

“No more until after we’ve eaten, and you’ve poured out some of
that brandy of yours. Then we’ll talk, and we’ll find out if the
brandy’s still yours or if it’s now Ellie’s and mine! Because
that’s what you’re proposing, you know. Among other things.”

And she walked into the dining room, and sat down in my place at
the table.

Conversation during dinner was spare, limited to trivial things,
carefully evasive. Rebecca’s new position and the hospital’s
policies, whether she’d want to stay when she’d reorganized them,
the kinds of people she’d be working with, where the best
supermarket in town was located, and the best wine store, and the
best hairdresser. The small things that make up whole lives no one
likes to think trivial. None of us dared hint at the topic on
everyone’s mind. We were being civilized. Rebecca twice began
talking about people and places only she and Ellie had once known,
but Ellie to her credit answered perfunctorily and brought the
topic back to time present.

Then when we were each of us settled back into the living room,
each with a snifter in one hand overfilled with cognac, Family
Court came into session. Ellie sat on the couch with Rebecca, the
judges and prosecutors. I sat facing them. Rebecca launched into
me with no preliminaries. Right on target, too!

“Ellie, we both know what his purpose is here. To gain time to
work on you, to try to take you away from me again. I can’t have
that! I won’t have that! We’re much more married than you and
your ‘Joey’ here ever will be, much more closely bound together.
Irreversibly! Forever! You know that, too. You can feel it too!
And you’re asking me to admit someone else into this union of ours
merely because you’re married to him? Out of pity?”

Rebecca seemed both furious and on the edge of tears. Ellie leaned
forward and took both her hands and held them, and said not a word.
She didn’t have to. They did understand each other so well! She
just looked steadily into Rebecca’s eyes until Rebecca could
recover herself. Only one sob escaped. Then a slight, grateful
smile, through glistening eyes.

“All right, out of love too. He’s a sweet man! He’s a dear man!
You say so, and I can believe it, though all I see is a wimp! But
remember, he’s a man! He has no obligations to me, or feelings for
me. He can pretend to be a girl, I’m sure, and learn how to swish
around the house in heels, and learn how to look halfway
respectable wearing makeup, and try to persuade you that he’s
serious! He can even do some permanent things to his body, make
some small gestures toward femininity in token of his sincerity,
like get his ears pierced, and adjust his hormones to grow his own
breasts and improve his figure and his disposition, things like
that. Because he knows it would take things like that to begin to
persuade me he’s serious. He knows that whenever I look at him,
nothing should ever remind me that I’ve somehow gotten myself
involved with another man.”

“But I’d still see him as a man, unless he was very, very good at
his little deceptions! And I’d always feel insecure, always
anxious that I was living with you on borrowed time. He’d be the
snake in our little garden. He can say anything at all right now,
but we all three know he can always back out of this thing he’s
proposing. At any time. No matter how skillful he becomes at
persuading us, maybe even persuading himself that he’s serious. He
can always take up living like a man again any time. And I’d
always worry that when he left he’d take you with him!”

“He wouldn’t do that. Would you, Joey honey?”

Of course I would. That was exactly my intention. But they needed
more persuasion. Rebecca did, anyhow. She was already boxing me
in with more “gestures” and “tokens,” than I wanted to deal with,
and Ellie was going right along with her. It made me uneasy.
Pierced ears, well, OK, no problem, holes grow in and leave only a
dimple, and my hair covers my ears, anyhow. But hormones? That
dyke wants me to grow breasts like hers, and maybe also fatten up
my ass like hers? And Ellie has no objection to any of it? Well,
OK, even hormones. I could stall, and anyhow, if I had to start
taking their pills or whatever, they would take time to work.
Months. Longer. And if it took me a year to wean Ellie away I
supposed even breasts are removable with surgery, if I found I
couldn’t handle having them hang off me. I grinned, realizing that
if I’d had breasts when we were married Ellie might have found me
even more attractive than now, a man and a woman all wrapped up in
one, the best of both of her worlds. Breasts might be an advantage
to me, wooing Ellie back.

“Would you?” Ellie asked again. “Try to come between me and
Becky?”

“No, of course not,” I said. “I’d never want to do that!” Take
Ellie back to be my lawful wedded wife again! Unthinkable! I
tried to think of more clinchers, more reassurances I could offer
them in addition to those Rebecca’d mentioned. What else?
Flattery, certainly. “I’d be living with two beautiful women, one
of them my wife. Why should I ever want to back out of an
arrangement like that?”

Even Ellie wasn’t persuaded by that, and she wanted to believe in
my sincerity. It was a lecher’s argument, not a nascent girl’s.
“Becky,” she said hastily. “You know I’ll never want to leave you
again. But there are other ways we can discourage him from
changing his mind. We can get his voice changed to a high
register, so it sounds attractive as a woman’s but silly as a
man’s. We can get him breast implants right off, not wait for his
hormones to grow them. And while we’re at it we could give him a
really cute girly nose and chin — I’d love that, and the chances
are that then he’d never want to show his face to his friends
again, looking like that. With a pretty face and pouty lips, the
first thing those guys would think of whenever they saw him would
be getting him on his knees and filling his mouth with their
…things. So it wouldn’t do him any good to carry me off
somewhere else! His old life would be over. He couldn’t be my
husband any more. We’d be two girls together!”

She looked at me, and then she let go of Rebecca’s hands and took
up mine. And pressed them into my lap. My crotch. Almost as if
she wanted me to stroke myself! The weight of our hands together
certainly caused a stirring. I tried to think of other things.
This was not the right moment for a boner! I realized that in her
sweet, conciliatory way, Ellie had just made it impossible for me
to back out of this situation and still save face. Not my face
the way it was. If the two of them arranged for every change Ellie
had just offered up, we really would look like two girls together.
Or very nearly. This was not too good!

“How about we castrate him?” Rebecca asked.

I lurched.

Rebecca noticed but went on. “That’s irreversible. That would
prove his sincerity, and reassure me. Then afterward, he’d have to
take whatever kind of sex he could get from us. He’d be grateful
we still wanted him! If we did.” She grinned quickly, then said
in a pointed, level voice, “I like that idea. We don’t need his
income. He could be our live-in eunuch! Take care of our house,
and help dress you for your dates with those studs you’ll want to
bed down now and then! He could even be happy for you when you
brought one home for the weekend! With no balls of his own he
couldn’t possibly be jealous of them! Could he?”

I knew I’d flinched visibly. Ellie’s hands were holding mine firm
in my lap, but she’d felt me instinctively clutch at my jewels. I
sat very still, hoping that this latest proposal would evaporate
into the air. No such luck.

“Becky, I wouldn’t want my darling hurt, just because he loves me,”
Ellie said. She could feel my fright. “Aren’t we asking enough
from him? For now?”

Rebecca seemed to back down a little. Or maybe not. “We both love
the same woman,” she said. “I’m willing to try to like him, as
long as he doesn’t flaunt his male privilege in my face the way
that bastard husband of mine did.”

She paused and thought a moment, and a slow smile began to light up
her face. For the first time, she scrutinized me seriously. Then
she continued, “Well, we’ll discuss it later, just the two of us.
As long as Joseph really will become a woman like us! Nearly all
the way may be far enough, we’ll have to see! I can wait to cut
his balls off, if he’ll do whatever’s otherwise necessary! I’ve
got to say though, if he must compete with me for you, I’d rather
have a level playing field, with no special jollies for you hanging
down between his legs!”

She turned directly to Ellie and spoke from the heart. “Ellie, my
darling Ellie. All I want is simple assurance that he isn’t faking
it. Is that too much to ask? To know that he’s a man of his word.
That he really means to become a woman of her word. That she
really means it. That she’s making an irreversible commitment to
her new life with us. Is that too much to ask?”

Not so much her words, but her tone of voice unsettled me. She had
my number all right. And Ellie knew it!

Now Rebecca leaned forward, and spoke quietly and rapidly to Ellie,
all the while not once taking her eyes off me. Ellie glanced at me
a few times as she listened and now and then nodded assent,
anxiously, amusedly, reassuringly.

“I tell you what, Ellie. I’ll set three conditions. First, we
send your Joey here to Miss Caroline’s Girls’ School for three
weeks of behavior modification. Just as soon as there’s an
opening. I’ll phone her and see if maybe she can take him this
weekend. Hypno-therapy, deep-reflex conditioning, and careful
instruction in how to be a woman, how to dress and walk and so on
so he won’t disgrace us every time anyone looks at him. Caroline’s
very good with husbands who get volunteered to her establishment by
their wives. I’ve seen some of them — they come out more feminine
than the women who sent them there, and then they stay that way!
I’ll pay for the treatments myself. Because if your husband is
sincere, sweetheart, your happiness will be well worth the price.
And if he isn’t, well, he will be when Caroline finishes with him.”

I tried to look at this woman with mild curiosity, as if I had
understood nothing of what she had just said. But it was getting
more and more frightening. Behavior modification? Did that mean
I’d learn to be more gentle, less aggressive, more nurturing? That
would be all right, I supposed. What more? Learn how to swing my
hips when I walk ? No problem, I could do that! I’m sure Rebecca
saw me still attempting not to understand, and failing. She smiled
and kept looking straight at me.

“The second thing I want is his signature on a sheaf of blank
surgical permissions. And a proxy. So he knows starting right now
we’re serious. So that as his wife you can approve whatever
surgical procedures we think necessary, whatever he may think of
them. Cut off his balls if he acts up, cut off his head too if he
thinks he’s getting away with anything. Caroline will need written
consents anyway — she doesn’t like backlash when her clients
finally wake up and realize what’s been done to them. And we’ll
want it for the other things we’ve already mentioned, because he’ll
surely want to look pretty, with a pretty face and figure to flaunt
at us. He can have such fun seducing his former buddies!” Now she
glared at me. “I’m sure he’ll want to do that!” she said.

It was a challenge. I ignored it. She saw, and for some reason
that fact amused her. Her lips compressed satisfied, then she
continued.

“Maybe he won’t need a surgical castration. The hormones I’d use
to wipe out his sperm and grow his tits would fry his balls anyhow,
sooner than he might imagine. I do want him to know though that
starting right now his balls are ours, not his. Mine, really,
since you’re probably feeling partial toward them. That his balls
dangle where they are now or dangle from my rear-view mirror any
time I want them to, at my whim. That he keeps them only if I’m
persuaded that he doesn’t want them, that they don’t matter, that
he doesn’t care, they’re a birth defect he’d just as soon see
removed. If I’m persuaded that he’s submitting to us for your
benefit, not for his. If he knows that you’re mine, not his, and
that he’s ours!”