Straddling Madeline: random thoughts

“Just this once let me sin for the joy of life, for the ancient and
exquisite joy of sinning.”

I want to do whatever it is you tell me to do. Velvet blanket feels so
good on my tense taught legs. Ram It Down playing on my mental juke
joint. I’d crawl to get to that dick baby. So pleased to watch you
coming. Thinking how revealing and soul opening it is to watch you do
it. You come in my face and it’s so blatantly there. This pleasure
you’ve had as an indirect result of me being here, nude with you. Just
like how the nastiest spunk is tasteless when given as a command, the
lack of a pulse between my legs is a nonissue if I feel I’ve followed
your orders correctly. And he nods like he understands. I’d love to be
in his bed next time. I’d love to tell him: that there, do NOT stop
doing that. Pulse blip bump boom between the legs. Feeling every drop
of blood flowing through every part of me.

He was behind me, me kind of on his lap. He had his legs wrapped
around mine, held them open. He was messing with my pussy with one
hand squeezed tween my thighs (which were clamped shut). The other was
reaching around tweaking my tits. And he was very absent-minded about
it all: like this sex act, my body, my pleasure, is sort of no big
deal, like I’m his little plaything and he’s just amusing himself with
my private sex acts and intimacies- like I’m a toy he fancies. Let me
tell you how smitten I am with this man. I think of him often, mostly
when I’m masturbating. I tie myself to myself and hold one arm behind
my back. I gag my own mouth (though I’m not screaming). Then I think
of him spitting up my ass. Just going ahead with it because he feels
like it. Now I’m pulsing like a heart monitor or some sort of cold
medical device but far from it. Imagine how I couldn’t push him off
of me. I’m not screaming, so I must be enjoying it, as I slobber all
over my hanky. Thinking how he’s stronger than me. Feeling the pumping
of MY orgasm and imagining it’s HIS orgasm. Watching him maul on my
breasts and I can’t reach out my own hand to my own body. I’ve lost
control of my own body.

“Now she pleads for rape which she pictures as a steady announcement
of rape.”

I hate being subjected to a blowjob when what I wants is to be fucked.
I was told firmly but gently to make eye contact and “hush.” I was
strapped with my arms overhead somehow- so my butt could be slapped
while I’m frontly fucked. I was wrestled down and my protests were
drowned out by his moans. “I am not gonna stop until you’ve had your

Now I’m tied spread eagle in his bed. Forced to let him see me. I can
touch you here, anywhere I want. He removes my gag and I can do
nothing but moan. Oral sex: he goes down on me and I come in his
mouth. Thinking about my panties- being taken off- hands put into
them. Big beating. In between. Warm. Wet and raw clit. I think about
how I’d sit in his lap and he’d ask if I can feel it through his
jeans. He’d hold me in place and shh my protests, maybe with a hand in
my face. I’d say I can’t take it and he’d reassure me, “course you
can, it’s all wet, and I can feel you expanding even if you don’t.”
Before long I come and he says see? The orgasm actually causes my
muscles to push the cock out- like the pleasure is the same as the act
of rejecting the intruder.

My wrist hurts from leaning on it. Thinking about black men and abs
and that song where he calls the girl “wet wet.” I’m told I’d be
stretched out, ruined for other fucks. Taking the vibe off my clit for
once makes me feel that much nicer when it returns. Nothing like a
good vibrator to jump start a born masturbator. Now I’m thinking about
being strip searched and finger fucked. Night stick pressed against my
thong. Close up shot of my torso. My body scrutinized and found worthy
of the fuck. Thoughts of…what else? Big hairy hand pulling my thighs
apart. Hand over my mouth: “shh don’t let anyone find out you’re
getting off on this.” Filling me up and leaving a hole when it pulls
out. I was tied up in Dino Sex’s van. Tied by my jeans with my legs
together, jeans pulled around my knees. Flashlight shined on my pretty
parts. I came quietly with a hankerchief clamped in my mouth and my
tits hanging out of my bra. Forgot I was menstruating. After I have an
orgasm my lips are redder and my teeth are whiter. I run with little
fairy steps. My body feels warm and so murky.