I was furious when I left work. I don’t think I had
ever been so mad in my life. I had a chance to cool
down a little as I dealt with the rush hour traffic.
That was not my normal reaction to all of the idiots on
the road. But I had time to think and I no longer
intended to storm into the house and start screaming at
While making my way home, fending off the tailgaters
and watching out for the idiots that were always
squeezing their cars into that too small space in front
of me and trying to take the paint off of my front
bumper I had an epiphany. I suddenly realized that I
didn’t love my wife any longer. I wasn’t going to
scream at her. I was going to walk through the house
calmly and get my suitcase out and pack my clothes. I
would stay in a motel for the next few days until I
could find an apartment or a small house that I could
afford to rent.
I had been married for only three years. I realized now
that I had not known my wife very well. I suppose that
I had been blinded by her beauty. She is certainly one
of the sexiest and most beautiful women that I know.
That just makes the fact that she does not like sex and
has lately rejected every advance that much more
The total absence of intimacy was not the reason that I
was furious though. Neither was the fact that my wife
did not clean or cook. She seemed to have only one
reason to live, to spend money. She lived only to shop.
She shopped on the internet. She shopped on television
and she was well known and very welcome in every store
I had logged onto the internet before I left the office
and found that she had once more overdrawn our checking
account. On Monday I would close that account and open
one of my own.
I had left the office thinking about what I was going
to say to her when I got home. As I drove though, I
calmed down and realized that yelling at her served no
purpose. She didn’t even listen. But the fury didn’t
really leave me until I realized that I didn’t love her
anymore. She had killed the love. I really didn’t care
what she did anymore. I had stayed with her long after
the love was gone because I was worried about what
would happen to her.
She had no living relatives now. None that we were
aware of anyway. She had no friends. Or at least she
had no close friends. She was a bitch to all of my
friends and I could no longer invite anyone over to
watch a game on TV or to play a game of poker. My
friends wouldn’t come over. On several occasions close
friends had suggested that she needed counseling. To be
honest I had agreed with them, but she didn’t and
refused to talk to anyone. She refused to believe that
she had a problem.
She had not finished high school and had no marketable
skills. She had never looked for work and as far as I
knew she had never worked a day in her life. She had
never even babysat when she was a teen. She didn’t do
housework or cook. She wouldn’t have sex. She had only
one function. She woke up every day and found things
that we didn’t need and bought them.
I had a good job and a good income but we were living
from paycheck to paycheck because she spent every penny
I made on crap.
I didn’t know what she was going to do now. I no longer
cared. I knew that my life was about to become much
simpler. I was actually calm by the time I got home.
I parked in the driveway and went in through the
garage. I picked up my suitcases as I passed through
the garage and I went upstairs without even going into
the living room to speak to Gwen.
I laid my suitcases out on the bed and started packing.
I needed two suitcases because I had more dirty clothes
than clean clothes. I hadn’t done laundry yet. I did my
own laundry because she sure as hell wouldn’t do it.
I packed my clean clothes in one bag and my dirty
clothes in the other. I went back down to the garage
and found an empty box and went around collecting a few
things that were important to me. I packed some books
and some CDs that I was fond of and some photographs of
my friends and family. I was careful not to take
anything that might be of value to Gwen.
I thought about taking the computer but I didn’t use it
for much more than checking my email and doing my
banking. I would use my laptop for that, or check it at
I was just closing up my suitcases when Gwen came in to
see what I was doing. She saw that I was packed and she
probably assumed that I was going out of town on one of
my infrequent business trips. She looked confused for a
moment and after a short pause she asked, “How long
will you be gone?”
I replied in a calm, quiet voice, “Gwen, you’ll be
needing a lawyer. I want a divorce. I can’t take this
anymore. I don’t love you anymore and I’m tired of you
spending me into the poorhouse. You don’t cook, you
don’t clean, you won’t have sex, all you do is sit
around and spend more money than I make on crap. The
garage is full of shit you have ordered and when it
arrived you never even opened the damned box.”
Her face had turned white when I had said that I wanted
a divorce and she had a look on her face like an animal
caught in a trap.
I said, “I am going to a motel tonight. I can’t get
much done since it’s Friday and everything is closed.
But on Monday I am going to tell Keith that I need a
week off. I am going to find an apartment and I am
going to close our checking account. I am going to have
my named taken off of the lease and I am going to
notify the utilities that I am gone and that they
should remain in your name alone.”
I saw the look of panic in her face and I was almost
ashamed of myself for feeling so much satisfaction that
she felt her life of leisure collapsing around her
I picked my suitcases up and set them on the floor. I
went into the bathroom and picked up my toiletries and
when I came out she was still standing in the bedroom
door with that look of panic on her face.
I placed my toiletries in the box of personal items
that I had assembled. I looked back up and said, “I’ll
be back some time this weekend to pick up the rest of
my things. I’ll have to arrange with someone to store
them in their garage until I find a place to live. You
can keep the furniture and the things that we bought as
a couple. I’m just taking a few of my personal items.”
There were tears in her eyes but there was no doubt in
my mind that they were tears of self pity. She finally
I stared at her for a moment. She knew why. We didn’t
talk anymore. The only thing that she was knowledgeable
about, the only topics she was able to discuss were the
private lives of celebrities, the plots of television
shows, or how much money she had just saved us on
something that we didn’t need. Any attempt to discuss
something more weighty, perhaps world affairs or
current events was met with a blank stare.
We just argued anymore, mostly about her spending but
about everything else too. I wanted to make sure that
there was no misunderstanding and I wanted her to know
that it was really over. There was no doubt. I had no
reservations. I just didn’t care what happened to her
I answered, “I checked our bank account before I left
the office. You spent more than I earned again. We are
overdrawn. I was going to come home and yell at you
again. I was furious. But on the way home I realized
that I just don’t love you anymore Gwen. You’ve killed
it. In fact, I don’t think I have loved you for two
years now. I just didn’t have the balls to break it
off. You don’t do a damn thing around the house and
it’s almost like you take pride in that. You are sexy
as hell but you won’t fuck. We don’t talk, we don’t
make love. Hell, when I’m home I’m usually too busy
doing the cooking and the laundry and cleaning house to
spend time with you even if I wanted to. It’s over. I
can’t take it anymore. I realized on the way home that
I don’t even care what happens to you now.”
I picked up one of my suitcases and headed for the car.
I was going to have to make three trips. Gwen was still
blocking the bedroom door and as I approached her she
said, “I’ll change. Kenny I’ll change. I swear it.”
She sounded truly desperate. She had made those
promises before. She made them frequently. We had the
argument about her spending and her inability to do
housework frequently. But this time I had packed and
was leaving and I think that it had finally sunk in
that her free ride was over.
I responded, “You say that every time we have this
discussion Gwen. And that is at least once a week now.
The truth is it doesn’t matter anymore. I no longer
care what you do. I can’t live like this. I want to get
on with my life.”
She continued to block my path and I said, “Get out of
my way Gwen. I told you. It’s over. Go back down and
watch the shopping channel or a game show or whatever
the hell you want to watch. Count your blessings. I’ll
no longer be pestering you to let me watch the news at
six. Now you can watch all of the game shows and all of
the television judges that you want until you fucking
starve to death.”
Her breath caught in her throat when she heard the
venom in my voice. She was pale and it looked like she
was going to collapse. I didn’t care. I waited another
long moment for her to move from the doorway but she
didn’t. I put my suitcase down and reached for her
shoulders. I intended to gently move her out of my way.
When I raised my arms to grasp her shoulders she
stepped forward and put her arms around my waist. I
tried to gently push her away. I didn’t want to harm
her. I just wanted out.
She pleaded once more, “Please Kenny. I know I’ve said
it before. I mean it this time. I’ll change. I’ll do
anything you want. I’ll learn to cook. I’ll clean and
do the laundry. I won’t spend another dime. I’ll do
anything you want in bed. We can make love anytime you
want. I’ll make it good for you. I promise.”
I was becoming impatient now. The exasperation was
obvious in my voice when I responded, “Gwen, you’ve
made that exact same promise so many times. The truth
is I don’t care anymore. I don’t love you. I don’t even
want to fuck you anymore. You know all of those
blowjobs that you were always too damned good to give
me? I don’t even want you to suck my cock anymore!”
She was sobbing loudly now. She was desperate. She
tightened her grip on my waist and breathlessly
pleaded, “Kenny please! Let me try. Let me make it up
to you. Give me a test. I’ll do it, I swear! We can
fuck anytime you want, any place you want. I’ll suck
your cock as often as you want. I’ll do anything! Just
please don’t leave me!”
I knew how to put an end to this. I said, “I want more
than that Gwen. I want the things you were always too
damned good to give me. But I want more. I want you to
be my fucking slave. I want you to be a slut. I want
you to take off your clothes whenever and wherever I
tell you, no matter where, no matter who is there. And
I want you to fuck and suck anyone, anytime. Those are
my demands and they are nonnegotiable.”
She stared at me in shock for a long moment and then
she finally whispered, “I can’t do that Kenny. You know
I’m not like that.”
I answered, “I know that Gwen. So get out of my way.”
I finally had to pry her arms from around my waist and
move her out of the way. I picked up my suitcase and
took it out to my car. I came back for the second
suitcase and then the box that I had filled up and each
time she was lying on our bed and crying loudly.
I realized that I was totally unmoved. I just didn’t
care about her anymore.
I didn’t even say goodbye. I drove to a downtown motel
and checked in. I took my suitcases and my box to my
room and then I went to dinner. I stopped on the way
back to my room and bought a couple of beers. I went
back to my room and got comfortable and watched a
baseball game. I had missed watching baseball and
football. I hadn’t had the time or the opportunity at
home. If I wanted to watch a game I had to go to a
I felt a sense of freedom that I had not felt in years.
I had feared that I would feel guilt when I finally
called it quits. I would feel a sense of responsibility
knowing that Gwen was incapable of supporting herself.
Instead I felt calm for the first time in years. The
constant knot in my gut was gone. Martin Luther King’s
famous words came to mind and I smiled. I was indeed
“free at last!”
I started getting calls on my cell phone around nine
that evening. I didn’t want to talk to her. I turned
the ringer off and when the game was over I went to bed
and slept peacefully. No bad dreams, no regrets.
When I awoke in the morning I went to breakfast at a
nearby diner. I checked my cell phone. She must have
been calling all night long. My voice mail box was
full. I deleted all of the messages without listening
to them and as soon as the box was empty it started
filling up again.
I decided that the best way to handle that would be to
talk to her when I went to get the rest of my things.
After breakfast I called a friend and explained that I
was leaving Gwen and asked if I could store a few
things in his garage until I found a place.
He laughed and said, “It’s about fucking time Ken!
Welcome back to the world of the living.”
My friends all despised Gwen. They frequently tried to
convince me that I needed to grow a set of balls and
either put her in her place or get the hell out. I
guess I finally grew the balls.
I told Jerry that I’d be over in a little while. I paid
for breakfast and drove back to the house to confront
Gwen once more. I figured that it would be ugly but I
just didn’t care anymore.
I drove to the house and backed into the driveway. I
opened the trunk and I opened the garage door. I found
another empty box among the stacks of unopened boxes of
shit that Gwen had ordered and went inside.
Gwen was sitting at the kitchen table and she looked
like shit. Her eyes were red and she had apparently
been up all night crying and dialing my cell phone. She
looked at me and at first I think that she thought that
I had changed my mind. Then she saw the empty box and
her shoulders slumped and she started crying again.
I can remember when I would have been torn up if she
had cried. I couldn’t stand it. Not now. I felt
nothing. I stopped across the table from her and said,
“Stop calling my cell phone Gwen. It’s over. There is
nothing you can say to change that. I don’t love you
anymore. I don’t want you anymore. Just leave me
She stared at me through her tears. I think it finally
was sinking in. I turned to go upstairs and get some of
my belongings when she whispered, “I’ll do it.”
I didn’t know what she was talking about. She saw that
I was confused and she stood up and actually tore her
blouse open. She repeated, “I’ll do it.”
I looked at her exposed flesh. It annoyed me that she
still could turn me on but she really did have a hot
little body. She was wearing a lacy little bra and I
could see the dark area underneath where her small,
delicate nipples were hiding. She was holding her
blouse open to expose herself to me.
I finally remembered what I had told her I wanted from
her last night if she wanted me to stay. I knew that
she couldn’t do it. She might be able to flash her bra
covered tits at me in the privacy of our kitchen. She
might even reluctantly allow me to touch her. Hell, she
was so scared now that she might even let me fuck her.
But there was no way she could do the things that I had
told her I would require of her when I was leaving last
night. She had never, not in three years of marriage,
agreed to suck my cock. She seldom allowed me to see
her naked or even in her lingerie. There were times
that I wondered if she might be a lesbian. She sure as
hell didn’t want to have sex with me.
I grinned and said, “That’s a very pretty bra Gwen. But
you know you can’t do what I told you I would require
of you last night if you wanted me to stay.”
I will admit that she almost looked desperate enough.
But I knew her too well. She could never be the slut I
had told her I wanted.
I asked, “Do you know what I did last night Gwen?”
She shook her head. She was still holding her blouse
open, almost as if she were unaware that she was doing
I reached across the table and closed her blouse and
said, “Last night, after I ate, I bought a couple of
beers and I went back to my motel room and got
undressed. I sat there in my underwear with my feet up
and watched a baseball game. I was happier and I was
more relaxed than I have been since before we got
married. It was a good feeling Gwen.”
She looked like she didn’t even understand what I was
trying to say to her. She looked at me with that
desperate expression on her face and tears streaming
down her cheeks. But she saw that I was totally
unaffected. She saw no pity in me and no concern for
I started to turn back toward the stairs and she
repeated, “I’ll do it Kenny. I’ll be a slut. If you
give me a chance I’ll do it all. I’ll do anything you
tell me to do. I’ll suck your cock. You can fuck me
anytime you want. Your friends too, Kenny, I’ll let
them fuck me if you tell me to. Please Kenny. I’ll die
if you leave me. I know I’ve been an awful wife. I’ve
taken advantage of you, I’ve used you. I thought about
it all night long. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll be your
slave like you said.”
I turned back and looked at her. The love was gone. But
I had to be honest. She was still the hottest woman I
knew. She was just twenty-one with shoulder length
bright red hair. She had perfect B cup breasts and a
high, tight, firm little ass that you could almost rest
your drink on. Her pussy was tight as a drum. Hell, it
should be. She was almost a fucking virgin. She guarded
that thing like it was a temple of gold.
When I had laid out the conditions that would be
necessary for me to stay last night I had just been
jerking her off. I knew she wouldn’t agree. But if I
was wrong, if she would agree to do all of those things
that I had said, well fuck! I could string her along
for a while. Hell, she owed me. I wouldn’t mind taking
it out in pussy and humiliating her like she had
humiliated me over the last three years.
I looked at her and finally I said, “I don’t believe
you Gwen. I don’t think you can do it. But I’ll give
you a little test. Take off your clothes.”
She undressed more quickly than I had ever seen her
When she was standing there naked I said, “I didn’t
check the mail last night when I came home. Go get the
paper and check the mail. And I want you to walk at a
normal pace. No hurrying.”
She looked like I had slapped her. I saw her brain
working. I could almost read her mind. She was weighing
her options and she realized that she didn’t have any.
She turned and walked to the front door and stood with
her hand on the knob. She turned back and looked at me,
obviously hoping that I would be satisfied that she was
willing to obey.